When I took two jobs I expected I'd work about 40 hours a week between the two. After all, I'd applied for seasonal part-time positions and had even been told at B&BW not to expect more than 10-15 hours a week. But as we get closer to Christmas I have been working non-stop. My last day off was December 1, and after today I work straight through till Christmas. This week I am working about 65 hours between the two jobs. Add another 3 hours of PT and 6 hours a night for sleep (which is an over-estimate) and it doesn't leave a lot of time for anything. I feel like all I'm doing is working, and when I get home I look at our dirty apartment, the big pile of laundry and dirty dishes and just want to cry. I get home and just want to sit and relax, especially when I'm getting up at 4:15 almost every morning.
I really can't wait to start classes in a month or so mostly because it'll mean fewer hours at the job(s) I hope. I will be receiving enough aid from the school that I shouldn't have to work more than 25 hours a week. I've been trying to weigh which job to keep... ON has good benefits, especially since I'm still trying to lose another 12 lbs and already have "saggy butt" pants. But B&BW is definitely easier and less stressful. Pay-wise, I make more at ON but don't want to do the shipment 5:00 am shift anymore. I'm just not sure, and not knowing about my workload at grad school I am just not able to figure it all out.
I feel like I shouldn't complain about how much I'm working because the paychecks will be pretty amazing and I actually have a job... I know a lot of people don't. But it's been so stressful going back to5:00 am shifts and working 10-13 hours in one day. I'm hoping things will slow down a little after Christmas.
I went to campus on Thursday to meet with an advisor and get my ID. The advisor looked at my schedule and thinks that I'm going to be just fine - the course load shouldn't be too bad as long as I work less than full-time (she recommended). It was nice to get some reassurance that I'm not going to kill myself... of course, I just have to stay on myself about being dedicated to the school work. I was never really good at motivating myself to do homework, but I've just got to remind myself that this is setting us up for success for, hopefully, the rest of our lives. I couldn't talk to financial aid, but I did get to the Student Center and found out my total estimated cost for the semester so I could determine how much I need in loans. I also got my student ID, which was pretty exciting... I can't get my light rail pass till January 4, but I can use my ID now to get discounted stuff :)
Other than work and PT (which is still going well, and is terribly unexciting) nothing else has really been going on. We have been looking for a new apartment a little closer to the mall and light rail so we each have an easier time getting to work/school, as we are still planning to sell the Beetle in the spring. We found one about 8 miles south of here, within a 15 minute walk (and 4 minute drive!) to the light rail. I was so sure it'd be a scam, as it seems all the nice apartments I find on Craig's List are, but we actually got a real response and we're going to try to see it next week. I'm excited because it's a 2-bedroom with a washer and dryer!! It'll be nice to have more space. It's also on the top 3rd floor so hopefully it'd be quieter than it is here. I don't want to get too excited about it but it's such a nice thought.
I was somehow able to get Christmas cards this year, so I've been frantically trying to get them ready to mail by tomorrow, in hopes that they'll arrive to everyone by Christmas. I ordered photo cards, as I usually do, and went to Wolf Camera to pick them up, and got to see a good friend that I haven't seen in a long time. It got me thinking about the last year or so in regards to my friends, and I can't help but feel sad about it all. I haven't seen a lot of my friends, with Angela really being the only exception, hardly at all this year. I know that the main reason why is because of my birthday last year, and I hate that I'm made to feel guilty about how shitty of a friend I've been.
Last year for my birthday I reserved a table at the Breckenridge Ballpark Brewery downtown for 15 people and, without going into too much detail about it all, the only people that came were Matt and my two girlfriends who were visiting from Minnesota. Since then I've just been so pessimistic and didn't even bother planning a birthday party this year. I can't help but feel like I'm being blamed for my behavior... which while I understand that I need to let go and get over it, it really hurt and I don't feel like I ever really got an apology from anyone about it. Maybe I am being petty and ridiculous, but it was my birthday and it really got to me.
However, I've also finally gotten to a point of trying to move on and want to bridge the gap. It's not healthy to be angry about it, a year and a half later, and even though it still hurts I've got to get over it. I've decided to try reaching out to my friends again and hope to reconnect with them. Perhaps a New Years get-together is in order. I'm trying to be an adult about everything... I just hope that things get better.
I've got more that I could say, but perhaps I'll add more tomorrow. It's almost 11:00 pm and I've got to work at 5:00 tomorrow morning, and before I can go to bed I need to get clothes out and set, get the coffee pot set to brew in the morning, and get the Christmas cards ready to in the mail tomorrow.
I went to campus on Thursday to meet with an advisor and get my ID. The advisor looked at my schedule and thinks that I'm going to be just fine - the course load shouldn't be too bad as long as I work less than full-time (she recommended). It was nice to get some reassurance that I'm not going to kill myself... of course, I just have to stay on myself about being dedicated to the school work. I was never really good at motivating myself to do homework, but I've just got to remind myself that this is setting us up for success for, hopefully, the rest of our lives. I couldn't talk to financial aid, but I did get to the Student Center and found out my total estimated cost for the semester so I could determine how much I need in loans. I also got my student ID, which was pretty exciting... I can't get my light rail pass till January 4, but I can use my ID now to get discounted stuff :)
Other than work and PT (which is still going well, and is terribly unexciting) nothing else has really been going on. We have been looking for a new apartment a little closer to the mall and light rail so we each have an easier time getting to work/school, as we are still planning to sell the Beetle in the spring. We found one about 8 miles south of here, within a 15 minute walk (and 4 minute drive!) to the light rail. I was so sure it'd be a scam, as it seems all the nice apartments I find on Craig's List are, but we actually got a real response and we're going to try to see it next week. I'm excited because it's a 2-bedroom with a washer and dryer!! It'll be nice to have more space. It's also on the top 3rd floor so hopefully it'd be quieter than it is here. I don't want to get too excited about it but it's such a nice thought.
I was somehow able to get Christmas cards this year, so I've been frantically trying to get them ready to mail by tomorrow, in hopes that they'll arrive to everyone by Christmas. I ordered photo cards, as I usually do, and went to Wolf Camera to pick them up, and got to see a good friend that I haven't seen in a long time. It got me thinking about the last year or so in regards to my friends, and I can't help but feel sad about it all. I haven't seen a lot of my friends, with Angela really being the only exception, hardly at all this year. I know that the main reason why is because of my birthday last year, and I hate that I'm made to feel guilty about how shitty of a friend I've been.
Last year for my birthday I reserved a table at the Breckenridge Ballpark Brewery downtown for 15 people and, without going into too much detail about it all, the only people that came were Matt and my two girlfriends who were visiting from Minnesota. Since then I've just been so pessimistic and didn't even bother planning a birthday party this year. I can't help but feel like I'm being blamed for my behavior... which while I understand that I need to let go and get over it, it really hurt and I don't feel like I ever really got an apology from anyone about it. Maybe I am being petty and ridiculous, but it was my birthday and it really got to me.
However, I've also finally gotten to a point of trying to move on and want to bridge the gap. It's not healthy to be angry about it, a year and a half later, and even though it still hurts I've got to get over it. I've decided to try reaching out to my friends again and hope to reconnect with them. Perhaps a New Years get-together is in order. I'm trying to be an adult about everything... I just hope that things get better.
I've got more that I could say, but perhaps I'll add more tomorrow. It's almost 11:00 pm and I've got to work at 5:00 tomorrow morning, and before I can go to bed I need to get clothes out and set, get the coffee pot set to brew in the morning, and get the Christmas cards ready to in the mail tomorrow.
Courtney- Don't forget to surround yourself with people who treat you right. Some things are worth getting over, but don't forget they need to meet you halfway. One person shouldn't be putting in all the effort.
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