Rough and Tumble

I started the day by rolling out of bed, getting dressed, immediately leashing Ozzie and taking him outside. It lead to success, as he did both duties and happily came back inside. He and Mirabelle were then fed, and then it was time for our morning nap.

I called The Curtis about the sales job and found it'd been filled a few days ago, and I can't help but feel a bit defeated. I knew it was a possibility, as the job had been posted over two weeks ago, but I guess I was hoping this would all be very easily solved... lose a job on August 20, begin a new one on August 30. I also read through all my unemployment paperwork and junk, and registered on the Colorado Workforce website, and am a little saddened by the provision that I take any job offered to me. So far the only jobs up on my site are two in Blackhawk (over an hour from here) and one in the southwest corner of the state. I am overwhelmed by the idea that, if someone offers me a job sitting in a cubicle and filing paperwork that I HAVE to take it. This bout of bad luck, this roadblock in my life, was supposed to be a silver-lining. It was supposed to be an opportunity for me to soul search and find something I want to do. I could only bring myself to job search for an hour or so today... I just got too depressed about it.

To make matters worse I had to go back to my former office to pick up my final pay stub and drop off my iPhone. It was hard just to be there, to see my former co-workers and feel like a complete failure. Luckily neither of my bosses were there so it was a little less awkward, but it was still hard. I did get some more free coffee out of the deal, so hopefully all is not lost. More than being upset about being unemployed I am upset about losing all those wonderful people, and I hope that I can reconnect with them someday.

I came home from my excursion minus one cell phone (and one cell number, as it is currently being ported onto my cheapo phone) and feeling rough. I hate open endings, I hate not knowing what is going on or where I am going. I just want to know what the hell is going on in my life, for once, and not be so uneasy.

I'm a little scared about my beer date tonight with my girlfriend, as I will need to try to control my emotions. We are going to a restaurant that is actually an account I used to have at my former job. The owners know me (and like me, I hope) but that will probably make it more difficult. Either I will have to tell them about my recent unemployment or they already know and will pity me. Either way I am just hoping to keep my composure and have a relatively good time.

And I'm wearing heels.

Boys Are So Difficult

Ozzie's really been trying my patience today. He either hates being on the leash or hates being outside, I can't really tell which it is. I got up this morning at about 7:00, let him out, and somewhere in the 30 seconds I took to get dressed and throw my hair up he managed to get out into the living room and pee on the floor. It was a doozy too, because I tried rolling him over when I caught him and he was STILL peeing. It reminded me so much of Bruce Almighty: "House, Bathroom, Bathroom, House!"

I leashed him and took him out, and he finished peeing and pooed for me. I've noticed something strange, though, is that he's not really treat-motivated. I don't know if he doesn't like the treats we have (he did for the first couple days, at least!) or if he just would rather keep on his way, but most of the time when I'm praising him for a job well-done he leaves the treat in the grass. He is figuring out (in the morning, at least) that he has to potty outside before I'll let him back in the house, so once he's done both he books it toward the door.

I can't help but compare him as a puppy to Mirabelle. Mirabelle was, actually, a pretty damn easy puppy to train. She took to pad training right away (we lived on the 3rd floor so getting her pad trained was way easier than trying to leash her up and get her downstairs) and when we were able to train her to potty outside she took to that immediately too. She loves being on the leash and running around outside, almost too much sometimes! I've never had a dog that I've had to train to go up and down stairs (although in Ozzie's defense the steps are a bit taller than he is), I've never had to train a dog to walk on a leash... he's just been a very different type of puppy.

Matt was off today, so we took an opportunity to take Mirabelle and Ozzie out together at lunchtime. In the process we ran into our complex's "office manager" (I say in quotes as she's really just a resident who works in the office from 4-6 pm M-F) who first commended us on being responsible dog owners (she came up by us while Matt was picking up Mirabelle's #2) then asked if we'd gotten a second dog, a silly question in my mind as there were two of us walking two dogs. When I responded with a tentative "Yes" she responded that the complex had banned "new dogs" about two years ago, and that the dogs that had been in before the ban were grandfathered. "Oh," we replied, "we really had no idea," which is completely true. But as she walked away she said "Well, I saw nothing, I know nothing!" I guess all those poop bags and diligently picking up after Mirabelle helped us out a bit.

I also realized, on an excursion to the bank across the street for laundry quarters, that the sign at our complex's entrance reads "Comdominiums" instead of "condominiums." Needless to say, I don't know how much longer I can live here...

I got a new cell phone today, just a little plastic cheapo thing to get me through for the next few months. Matt is still set on getting iPhones once our finances stabilize (you know, 14 years from now) so for now I am just doing a no-contract plan. It's coverage areas are pretty shoddy, but as long as I watch it I should be okay. I'm still waiting for my cell number to port over, but hopefully it'll be done by morning. I have to go back to the old job tomorrow and drop off my phone and pick-up my car seat (I had it pulled out for hauling stuff; a VW bug has a surprisingly large truck if you lay the back seat down!). I'm not really looking forward to it, but it'll be as quick as I can make it.

I still feel pretty torn up about them letting me go... not because of the stress or the lack of money, but because I loved working there with such an amazing group of people. Everyone got along, for the most part, and everyone cared about each other. I wasn't the best at what I was doing, I was still learning and trying to get my feet under me, but I felt like they all supported me and wanted me to succeed. I felt like I was wanted there, like they were happy I was working with them. And while I'm sure that's all true it makes it all the worse to not be there anymore. The last job I had that actually made me happy was while I was in college, so it was a nice change. Hopefully the next one will be the same way.

I haven't heard back from the hotel, the animal shelter, or the coffee shop I applied at; I'll have to do some follow-up calls tomorrow. I guess I should start applying for lower-level jobs like receptionist and general office work... at least to get some funds coming in. I am going to the Iliff School on Monday for a visit and meeting with admissions to find out more about their Master's of Social Change program. The more I think about it, the more I want to pursue a career working with a non-profit group as an events coordinator. It'd combine something I am good at (planning) with something I'm passionate about. The problem for me, and one thing I'd have to talk to admissions about at the universities, is how easy it is to jump into that right away. I'm sure I'd have to start lower, like in donor relations, and work up, but I don't know. All I know is that, if I do go back to school I'll more than likely sell the Beetle. It'll put $5000 in my pocket, with which I can pay back my grandma and have a little something to put away for the next time something like this happens.

I also got my unemployment packet yesterday (whoopdee-shit) and my estimated funds letter. I have to read the packet, sign it, sign an information sheet, mail it all back... it's a hell of a process. I have to register with a job placement coordinator as well, which I'm not terribly excited about. Yes, I want to work, but I don't want to start rotting away in some office filing paperwork. I'd rather get a barista job... at least it's something I enjoy doing, even if the pay is pretty rotten.

I never actually did my laundry today, so I'll probably do a load or two tomorrow. I have to run back to the office and then one of my girlfriends, having recently heard of my unemployment, wants to take me out for a beer... I can't pass up a free beer! Plus there will be more training with Ozzie and searching for work...