Be Kind

Several weeks ago I was messing around online, killing time, and stumbled upon a quote that has really stuck out in my brain throughout the last few days: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

This week in Colorado government has been turbulent.  With a civil unions bill on the floor, with the possibility of passing, Republicans held it hostage - folding their arms and stomping their feet, throwing a temper tantrum like a bunch of toddlers.  The bill, along with 30 others, was "killed."  So, the governor wrote a well-crafted letter to his fellow politicians letting them know that they'd be called back to a special session to give these 30 bills a chance to pass.  Long story short, the bill was killed again in the special session with a vote along party lines, including a Republican father of a gay son.  Another bill killed in the special session was one creating a legal limit for driving while stoned - "medical" marijuana is legal in Colorado, but we have no limitations on use.  One that was passed?  A city-wide ban on "camping," which has essentially criminalized homelessness.

Now, I'm not going to get fired up.  I like to think that everyone who reads this knows where I stand on the issue of gay rights and gay marriage, but if you don't: I'm all for it.  My dear cousin is gay, many of my friends are gay.  And there are some days when I get incredibly angry.  When North Carolina passed their "definition of marriage" law last week I got really emotional.  The civil unions bill in Colorado was very important to me, and I was so angry and disappointed to see the political game-playing.  I get so tired and so apathetic of politics sometimes, and other times I desperately want to do more, to get involved and try to make a difference.

However, I keep coming back to this quote, and I can't help but wonder how things would be different if everyone kept that idea in the forefront of their lives.  "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  To me, it goes back to the key ideas of many religious beliefs of treating others as you'd like to be treated, loving others unconditionally, and taking care of your fellow man.  And for the life of me I can't figure out why "religious" people are so adamantly and angrily against gay marriage.  I know the argument can go around in circles for forever, but I desperately try to understand why it's even an issue.  Another quote I hear a lot on the issue?  "Don't like gay marriage?  Don't get one."  Why must we all be so concerned with other people's lives, when what they are doing is not hurting me in any way.  "But gay people hurt my kids!"  How?  I know, there are millions of arguments, and it all comes down to personal belief.  It's as bad as the chicken-and-the-egg argument.  Who cares if gay people are married, living together, raising kids... why should anyone else care?  Do people care that I married a guy 5 years older than me?  Does anyone care that I lived with my husband well before we were married?  And if you do care, why does it matter?

I used to be very religious.  So much so that, when I was in high school, I visited Luther Seminary in the Twin Cities as a prospective student and considered being a minister.  I dropped that aspiration primarily due to gay rights.  I remember having a conversation with someone about my gay friends, and "what would happen" to them, and I could not reconcile my personal ideas with the religious beliefs.  And it was a struggle, going through that time of my life.

I guess I just can't wrap my head around why someone can care about limiting someone's rights so much. The Republican party is always hailed as the party of "small government," when they are trying to limit human rights for gays, women, and minorities.  And tonight I'm not angry about it.  I'm just tired and confused.  I don't understand how civil unions and gay marriage undermine anyone else's lives.  I don't get it.

I know it'd never happen, but I'd be completely in support of "marriage" being a religious joining and a "civil union" being a legal joining.  Why not completely separate it, if that is the problem of this situation? Let's do as we've always talked about and completely separate the church from the state.  I'd happily have a "civil union" with my husband, as we never married within a church and neither of us are particularly religious.  But would that help the situation, or does any of it even matter?

Like I said, I'm not angry tonight... I'm trying to just rationalize everything happening around me.  But I'm challenging myself  to live up to this quote, and challenging those around me to do the same: we are all trying to survive.  For some of us, that means graduating and getting a job we love.  For others, it's getting a job period.  For others, it's making enough money to buy food.  We are all struggling, we are all doing what we can to get through.  And despite our differences, we are all doing the best we can in this moment, and we all deserve a little kindness.

This is a major challenge, but it's one I'm going to try to incorporate into my daily life, as much as I can.

Now I think I need another tattoo.