I shouldn't be so negative. I've requested information from a few universities for information about Master's Programs, just as I'd done earlier this year. It just opens up another question about what I'd study and what I want to do. I'd talked to an admissions counselor at UC-Denver about a Masters in Marketing, but to be honest I don't really remember why I'd looked at that particular degree. Maybe it was the money? I don't know. Recently I've looked at a non-profit management degree and looked at a "Master's of Social Change" degree, which is intriguing to me. As I mentioned previously I just want to do something that'll make a difference. I don't want to be famous, I don't want to be in charge, I just want to bring happiness to people. Right now I feel like going back to school is the only thing that really makes sense to me - but the timing is awful right now, as fall semester just started at the beginning of this week. If I can find a job that allows me to do these things then great, but I'm not going to take a job making $7/hour so I can continue to be miserable.
I'm often asked why I don't go back to school for a teaching degree so I can teach theater. I have a lot of respect for teachers, but I've never had the desire to do it. I don't have the patience! I've certainly thought about it, but I just don't think I'd really love it like so many great teachers do.
I feel so guilty today, because I woke up at 7:00 and really haven't done anything at all today. I should, with all my free time, be cleaning and taking care of our apartment, cooking, maybe going through all the junk we have around here and start purging. Maybe it's because of the reason I'm here, but I just don't have the energy to do anything. I feel like I haven't slept at all this week, and I feel like my back's been screwed up for three weeks. I did get my dumbbells out of Matt's car, so I can at least start working on some arm workouts, but I'd love to have the energy to walk and do some more exercise. I don't feel like I've been just lying here feeling sorry for myself, but I just hurt so bad and am so tired. Tomorrow I'm hoping to get some laundry done, but I only have $10 for quarters and need to wash about 3 loads of my clothes, a load of sheets, and a load of towels.
I have been working on Ozzie's training though, although we need to start on his crate training again. I can't figure out how to get him (or Mirabelle, for that matter) to stop freaking out when we leave. Mirabelle has always been a spaz... never to the point of separation anxiety, but she definitely barks and howls when we leave. Ozzie is less of a spaz, but he's starting to whine and cry when he's in the crate by himself and I don't want it to escalate. I'm a huge fan of "It's Me or the Dog" and Victoria Stilwell's "Positively" training, so when I have the money I may go get her book and see if she's got any suggestions. I'm home all day every day right now, so I might as well try to work with them and solve these issues before they get worse. And I know you are dying to know, Ozzie's potty training is going well. He hasn't had an accident since yesterday afternoon and has successfully pottied outside twice. He's actually having more trouble with the leash training! He had his first puppy vet appointment yesterday and got his rabies shot, two more puppy vaccinations, and we had to get a medicated ear cleaner that we need to use once a day for a week. He has a booster shot appointment on the 14th and hopefully he'll be neutered by the end of September.
I realized the other day that mine and Matt's 2-year wedding anniversary is in about a week and a half, which is a little depressing to me because I don't know what we're going to do to celebrate. It seems like we never really celebrate anything due to lack of funds, whether it be birthdays or anniversaries or any other major event. I guess we'll just have to see what happens in the next week or so.
So now I suppose I will scour the job postings for a bit, take Ozzie out again for a mid-afternoon potty break, and make my marinade for dinner tonight. Matt's working till 9 so I am on my own till then. I'll need to find a snack, too. My tummy is growling. We really need to get some basic groceries, so I suppose I will try to figure out a few cheap things we can buy to feed us for a long time. And I'm sure there will be plenty more bad TV.
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