On Second Thought...

As I expected there is no rest in my immediate future. I worked this afternoon at Old Navy from 2:00 till 7:00, and starting this week I face a whole new type of retail stress. I work approximately 44 hours in 6 days between the two jobs, including a 6:00 am shift on Black Friday. I'm working at 5:00 till 9:00 tomorrow, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday at Old Navy... and it'll be interesting (and painful) to be working so early again. I haven't worked these early shifts since March when I quit working at Caribou. As usual, I can't complain about the hours because we need the money... but I kinda wish I'd not applied to work the shipping/receiving job so I could sleep in.

Thursday we are spending Thanksgiving with Angela, and I'm excited about a relaxing day with her and Matt. It'll be very low-key (partially because we are all broke) but it'll be nice to spend the day with them. In the past we'd spent the day with some other friends, but for whatever reason we never heard from them... I was a little bummed about it, but regardless we'll have a good day.

I woke up this morning around 8:00 - I was thankful that Matt took Ozzie out at 7:00 when he got up for work so I got to sleep in peace for another hour or so. Ozzie is still struggling with his crate setup: he's started running from us when we get his Kong treat together and try to put him in it, and he whines quite a bit when we leave. He also starts whining in the morning around 6:00 so I'm usually up with him by 7:00. I just wish I could help him adjust and be okay with his crate... and it'd be nice to get some better sleep on the days I actually am able to sleep in.

Anyway, I woke up and spent the morning relaxing (or being lazy) on the couch before getting ready for work at 2:00. I had TLC on, half-watching it, because I was thinking a lot about my future. I've taken my GMAT and sent in my application to grad school, and I'm waiting to hear if I'm accepted into the Business School at UC Denver. I've been wondering if I'll be accepted at all because my GMAT scores were a lot worse than I hoped they'd be, but at the same time I've been thinking about the decision in general. Do I want to be in Marketing? Do I want to be in business? I won't lie, my decision to apply to the Business School was fueled mostly by an expectation to make a large salary and have some financial stability someday. The idea of happiness was pushed aside, because I thought that the money would give me happiness. But now that the application has been submitted and the wait has started I'm feeling a bit of regret about it. I'm sure that I'd enjoy whatever I end up doing with that Marketing degree but I've had this nagging feeling that it wouldn't be a good fit for me. I've always needed to be with people, and I've always known that I need to be in a some sort of a service field. I need to help people, I need to fulfill others, I need to serve. It's been a common thread in every job I've had and I don't know if I can suppress that.

So as I was lying on my couch this morning thinking of all this I went back to another commonality that's always sat in the back of my head: event planning and hospitality. I searched for awhile for jobs in the field (something I'd done in August when I was laid off, but I couldn't find anything at the time) and then looked for a Master's program in hospitality, but wasn't successful. But I did see that Metro State here in Denver has a BS program in Hospitality Management, with emphases in food, beverage, event planning, and hotel. Tuition is substantially less than UC Denver for another Bachelor's, and my hope is that a lot of my liberal arts courses from Truman would transfer. Their application deadline is December 15... so I guess I have some time to decide. But I can't help but feel like that'd be a better field for me to attempt.

I feel more confused about school now than I have since I was laid off. I'm also kind of pissed that I stressed myself out about the GMAT and applying for grad school when I don't really feel like it's the right route for me. But I also can't force myself to do something that probably won't make me happy. I want to do something that will really be fulfilling, but will I really have the financial stability in hospitality? Or will I be stuck working front desk jobs for the rest of my life? Should I just try to forge into the field without going back to school, or should I check out the program at Metro to see if it'd be worthwhile for me?

And with that I suppose I need to get some rest, as I have to be at work in 6 hours... hopefully these thoughts won't keep me up all night, and hopefully I will be able to muse over it and make a decision soon.